What is “Corporate Betrayal?”
If the phrase “corporate betrayal” makes you think of jilted lovers, heartbreak, and bad romance, you are exactly right! A betrayal is defined as the violation of someone’s trust, standards, moral obligation, or expectation. And while it’s common to think about expectations, standards, and obligations in interpersonal relationships, it’s less common to think about them in terms of an employment relationship.
Which is where the problem lies. Just as in interpersonal relationships, we enter our career “relationship” with an unspoken set of expectations, beliefs, and ideas about what our future holds.
Have You Been Betrayed by Your Career?
It’s my guess that like me, you had high hopes for yourself and your career. Whether it was effortlessly balancing work and family life, receiving raises, promotions, and accolades on a predictable and routine schedule, or simply a sense of fulfillment and pride in yourself and the work that you do or the company that you serve, it’s my hunch that you have been disappointed. Or shall we say, betrayed? Which led to disillusionment, resentment, and eventually burnout.
Burnout and betrayal lead to a similar set of negative thoughts, feelings, emotions, and even physical maladies. Which can either be managed by endlessly treating the symptoms, or by re-framing burnout in terms of its root cause — betrayal — and addressing that, so you can banish burnout for good.
Are you curious if your burnout is simply the result of doing too much for too long, or if it is rooted in a deep and unacknowledged sense of betrayal? To find out, ask yourself these questions:
1. When I was in school and preparing for my career, how did I envision my life being and feeling? Did I expect hardships, market crashes, pandemics, toxic work environments, long commutes, arduous assignments, pay freezes, pay gaps, dwindling benefits, or salary caps? Or, did I have a more naïve and positive view of what my career had in store for me?
2. When I dreamed about my family, relationships, and life outside of work, did I imagine being so tired and strung out that I would routinely snap at my spouse, yell at my kids, or go months where my only form of entertainment was binge watching Netflix with chocolate and wine? Or, did I have visions of joyfully driving car pool, practicing yoga, and romantically clinking gasses over the freshly prepared organic meals that I put on the table each night after a full day of Perry Mason-ing in a designer power suit?
Is it Burnout or Betrayal?
The further away your reality is from your expectations, the more likely it is that what you are experiencing is betrayal. Your trust, standards, moral obligations, or expectations were violated. But because you weren’t consciously aware of that violation, you were unable to identify and manage your experience appropriately. Instead, you chalked up the negative thoughts, feelings, and lack of engagement to being burned out or needing another job altogether.
Bingo. You, like so many of us, were betrayed.
It’s not that your employer knowingly did anything wrong or victimized you in any way. No finger pointing or blame is necessary. It’s simply that your worldview was shattered. Your unspoken and unacknowledged expectations about your life, career, and the way the world works were not met. And because you weren’t aware of what was happening, you never allowed yourself the time to process, grieve, and heal from that betrayal.
You are not burned out. (OK, in fairness you might have some burnout going on too, but in most cases the amount of actual burnout is relatively small.) You have been betrayed. What you need is betrayal recovery, not more self-care! Speaking of self-care, another clue that if what you are experiencing is not burnout, but betrayal, is if the traditional remedies for burnout do not help.
If this re-frame speaks to you and you are currently leaning back in your chair thinking, “Ohhhhh, this makes sense. I need to ponder this some more.” Then reach out. We can hop on a 20-minute call and talk through your situation. I will help you untangle the burnout from the betrayal and together we will come up with the most immediate next step you can take to address the root cause of your burnout for good.
Schedule HERE: https://calendly.com/loras-schedule/is-it-burnout-or-betrayal
In the meantime, share this with others who might be feeling burned out, overwhelmed, or disengaged. And be sure to subscribe, because the next edition will be packed full of tips for addressing and healing both burnout and betrayal once and for all.
